Monday, March 31, 2008

Intern Abuse

Newspaper interns traditionally trade their cheap labor for the experience of learning journalism first hand. It's an opportunity to practice their new profession under the guidance of wise and seasoned editors who have a nose for news and can smell a nut graf a mile away.

At the Charlotte Sun, Gabriela Mares is being deprived of that opportunity, and she is paying the price. The publisher has assigned her to his advertorial beat – an unholy junction where advertising intersects the front page. Mares’ job this morning is to make a local builder’s advertisement look like news.

It took little time to fill 28 units, and with only 58 left, anyone interested in purchasing or leasing one of the Emerald Oaks custom built condominiums should hurry,” runs Mares’ breathless lead. The rest of her fake news story extols kitchen counters, a pool, club house, location – all the details one would expect to see arrayed in the sales literature.

Shame on the Dunn-Rankins and every editor in the building for whoring perverting this young professional's talents.

Over on the editorial page, the topic is schools’ growing interest in world languages and their move away from traditional Romance-based offerings. The writer apparently has a dictionary phobia because he concocts the neologism “Englo-phile” instead of relying on the well established Anglophile, and he neglects to capitalize Romance (meaning “Roman,” or Latin) because he thinks it’s related to lovey-dovey.

The orthographic errors are minor, however, compared to the writer’s lack of logic and coherence. After pontificating about the importance of breaking away from the usual offerings, his first recommendation is Spanish and his second is French. He lists Latin in his review of modern alternatives. Only as an awkward afterthought, it seems, does the writer work in mention of the truly newer offerings of Chinese and Arabic in local schools.

The editorial, while well intentioned, is clearly a rough-work draft that no one took time to edit or organize -- sloppy, careless work from start to finish that simply leaves readers wondering, what’s the point?

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Jail Story a Mystery

DeSoto County’s jail was inspected last week by a federal consulting team and Our Man in Arcadia, delivered the initial report by scrubbing his text clean of any mention of the first and fifth W’s, who and why.

OMIA gives no hint as to why the consultants rolled into town. Was it because someone complained about the jail? Was it because the jail is evaluated every so often and it was time? Maybe it was because it’s cold up north and the inspectors needed a Florida interlude. Readers will never know because OMIA isn’t telling.

OMIA also omits any mention of what National Institute of Corrections is. Is this a private group? A membership organization? Not that one would know by reading the story, but it’s a federal bureau: So what is its mission or objective? What government department oversees it? Not that one would know from the story, but it’s a drawer in a bureau run by the Justice Department. Does it fund local initiatives? Are its recommendations mandates? (Strangely, the headline writer got it right – despite Lawhorne’s omission of the word “federal” from anywhere in the story.)

Clearly, it’s too much trouble for OMIA to check out the agency and tell readers where it’s headquartered, how large it is, and if this is its first look at our little town’s jail – or any other detail that might put this jail-review trip into a meaningful context.

Lawhorne does get around to sharing that “most of the jail’s woes are due to overcrowding.” That said, the reporter has an obligation to tell readers what some of those woes are. He doesn’t mention one.

Later in the story, OMIA tells readers the reviewers said local jail staff “performed well in spite of the major problems evidenced under crowded conditions.” For the second time, OMIA has an opportunity to tell readers what those major problems are. Are disease rates up? Is food in short supply? Are there fights among inmates or between inmates and staff? Is drug usage common? Does the roof leak? OMIA teases readers but he won’t tell.

By reading between the lines – Arcadians have to do this a lot – we can sort of guess that the consultants told local commissioners to build a new jail. Nose for News Lawhorne, always on top of the story, reports “there was little discussion about where the money would come from...” Since there was at least a little discussion, Nose for News would actually be doing his job if he reported even that smallest smidgen of this discussion.

Instead of real news on an important topic, OMIA gives us these gems...

About 10 to 15 percent of inmates are females, at any given time.”
And the rest of the time, they’re men? Maybe shapeshifting is one of the problems that Lawhorne won’t go into.

“On Friday, the consultants met with county and state justice officials ...” Given that the lead is they came to town and inspected the jail, this seems like same old news all over again in the third graf.

In other news:

Headline: County seeks fees for emergency services.

Story: The fire chief asks county commissioners two write a local ordinance enabling him to charge some emergency-service users for goods and services. The commissioners say they'll think about it and table the matter “pending more information.”

Dear Copy Desk Headline Writers: The story doesn’t report the county is seeking fees for emergency services. It reports the county tabled a request. There’s difference. Read the story.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Surprise, Surprise

The general idea is a headline should reflect the story beneath it. In a similar fashion, an opening paragraph should provide the sum and substance of the news.


Today's banner promises surprised Arcadians. The lead promises reports of a "conversation among residents" about a rumor that a proposed resort intends to cater to nudists.

So Old Word Wolf eagerly perused this morning's Big Story for evidence of Surprised, Conversing Arcadians. But all that three writers assigned to the story could come up with were folks of official stripe, none expressing surprise and all but one professing to have never heard of the plan.

The property appraiser is the first to say he doesn't know anything about the rumor; a former property owner is the second to say he doesn't know anything about the rumor. The county's official spokesman is the third to say he doesn't know anything about the rumor. A county comissioner is the fourth to say he doesn't know anything about the rumor, although he heard it from "a constituent." Another county commissioner vaguely remembers being "approached about a year ago by a person associated with a nudist resort," but "there was never any followup." The sixth and last official interviewed is Arcadia Mayor Sharon Goodman who comments that a nudist colony "is not something that our community needs." No one bothers to point out that the rumored resort is rumored to be not in the City of Arcadia.

So where are all the Surprised, Conversing Arcadians? Three Sun staff writers produced this story, the copy desk team read it and composed the headline -- and not one managed to note the absence of the Surprised, Conversing Arcadian.

(However, I'll bet some were surprised to find two churches mislocated to a cow pasture on the map Josh Olive drew to accompany the story.)

The headline over the jump is equally puzzling ...

Nude: Terra Sol naturist resort may be coming to Arcadia.

So far, we've read absolutely nothing that says zoning changes have been applied for, ground has been broken, or the unnamed landowners have even announced plans apart from a semi-functioning Web site offering a list of proposed amenities that don't exist. So, yes, the resort may be coming. It also may not. Bad desk. Also Bad Desk because no one who works there asks if any of the reporters called the landowners -- an obvious hole in this story about nothing. ==

Two cute kids wrote a news release about their event and it went straight up on the Charlotte Sun’s Web site with nary an alteration. More than the event, the item is the Sun’s daily announcement to readers that it doesn’t worry much about the quality of its product, and anything is good enough for publication. "...Please note these are just the companies donating stock, services or financial help. There are numerous volunteers who have opted to donate their time to make this event function, to who gratitude also is extended."

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Web Giggles

There's a mind-set in the Charlotte Sun newsroom that Web content doesn't need editing or even reading by a second set of eyes. The result is silliness like this: Man's house raided, gets seven drug charges. Old Word Wolf hopes the house was able to make bail.

Ans then there's this one: Texas tops nation's top 10 growing cities; Florida not on the list.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Spur the Hiatus

Over in the head shop: "Wall Street fallout spurs builder hiatus," screams the front page this morning.

When we spur something, we prompt or prod the thing into action -- as when a cowbody digs his spurs into his horse. A hiatus is a suspension of action.

You can't spur a hiatus any more than you can kick air.

Follow-up File: John Lawhorne, Our Man in Arcadia, failed to ask the county fathers why, in today's market, they agreed to pay $112,000 for a 50-year-old wood frame house that sits on cinder blocks -- $4,000 over its 2007 assessed value. (I'll bet that has changed!) And, a quick check of the records finds the building was purchased less than five years years ago by its current owner for $75,000. I'd liked the county to buy my house at a 49 percent profit...

OMIA should track the proposed refurbishment project, ostensibly one to provide office space for the building department. The building department claims the half-century old structure can be brought up to code for $28,000. Old Word Wolf doubts this.

The building is not air conditioned and no one expects government workers to toil in ambient conditions. Just installing central air and the windows and insulation to make sure we're not cooling the yard surely would cost close to that.

Also, having the building department inspect the building department's work (RFP's, bids, contracts, execution, etc.) is a clear case of the fox guarding the hen house. ... just when citizens need a real reporter on the job.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Hints from Heloise

Money Saving Tip: Ask readers to write "money-saving tips." Cut out the expense of leaving the newsroom; eliminate the trouble of finding, sourcing, researching, writing, editing and publishing genuine, fact-checked news.

xxxx xxxxxxNew column to highlight readers’ tips
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxBy Nicole Noles
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxNorth Port Herald Editor

From stories of mass foreclosures to recent layoffs in the area, our paper has more stories of economic crisis than any of us really want to see. Of course, it’s our job to report the news as it happens, so we can’t turn a blind eye to the economy or the plight of local residents as they struggle to make ends meet.

To offset recent economic difficulties, many people have discovered or rediscovered new ways to save money.

Aside from the online groups and syndicated columns, there’s a resource we can draw on in our own community — our ingenuity.

So starting next week, we will be running a new column in the North Port Herald called Stretch Your Budget. We’re going to compile local readers’ tips on how they save money in hopes that we can all benefit and save some much-needed cash.

Send your best tips to nnoles@sun-herald.com. Include your name with the tip so we can give you proper credit and let us know whether you would prefer a random list of tips or a set theme each week, such as uses for “paper or plastic bags.”

For the complete column, see Wednesday’s North Port Herald or check out the e-edition
.


The operant word is buried in the fourth paragraph: "compile." Nicole better watch her back; the Dunn-Rankins soon won't need the expense of an editor to "compile" what readers will already have conveniently written. They'll compose at least as well as "rediscovered new ways..."

Sales Manager Isn't a Journalist

Asking a newspaper sales manager to write news is a little like asking a reporter to drum up ads and subscriptions. The two jobs just aren't the same, even though attention to detail -- and proofreading -- might be a common denominator. Ordered to write a "business column," Charlotte Sun sales manager Steve Akers this morning manages to call one event by two different titles and botches the name of one of the newspaper's largest advertisers. We won't even go into the sales manager's grammar and punctuation -- high-school standards are clearly too much to expect, even during FCAT week.

The truly amazing bit of sloppy writing comes from the "real" business columnist, Bob Fliss, who is busy dashing around Tallahassee as the legislature enters its spring session. He tells all the folks back home:

"As I was walking down the hill, I dimly recalled a quote by political satirist P.J. O'Rourke. Something about bombs and guns being more fun than social programs. Well, if O'Rourke didn't write it, it's something he would have written."

Would have written, would have if what, Bob? If a famous writer doesn't have a topical, timely quote ready for the busy journalist when he needs one, let's just pretend the famous writer would have done better, if only he had known.

The passage's significant word is "dimly."



And one more headline lesson ...
The rule is a headline must have something to do with the story. Old Word Wolf read this story twice and, just to be sure, a third and fourth time. There is no "death-defying stunt" mentioned anywhere, and contrary to what the kids on the copy desk are telling readers, plenty of numbers pepper the story. The best explanation is the headline goes to another story. Why bother writing a new headline when one is lying around, ready to fit? It would be so much more professional to tell us what the story is about instead of what it isn't about -- oh, and harder.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Easter Plagiarism Rises with the Sun

A couple of days ago, on Thursday, March 20, “Journal Correspondent” Jana Lynn Filip gave a historical recap of Easter sunrise services for readers of Lake Placid Journal, a weekly owned by the Dunn-Rankin family. Unlike most reporters, this correspondent disdains telling readers where she acquired her extensive information about the subject. As far as Old Word Wolf can tell, most of it came from Wikipedia. Schools teach that plagiarism occurs not just when a writer steals word-for-word but also when the order of ideas and a uniqueness of expression has been copied. That's what seems to have happened in this case.

Here's a side-by-side comparison, starting with the suspected original.

Wikipedia says: Sunrise service is a worship service on Easter. It takes the place of the Roman Catholic tradition of the Easter Vigil, and is practiced by mainly Prostant churches. The service takes place outdoors, sometimes in a park, and the attendees are seated on outdoor chairs or benches. Many churches in the American South still hold traditional sunrise services in cemeteries as a sign of recognition that Jesus no longer lay in the tomb on Easter morning.

Jana Lyn Filip lightly rewrites but retains her source's order of ideas: A traditional sunrise service usually takes place in the out-of-doors with attendees seated on chairs or makeshift benches, facing to the east. Some churches still hold their sunrise services in cemeteries to signify that Jesus no longer lay in the tomb.

Wikipedia goes on: The service starts early in the morning and is timed so that the attendants can see the sun rise when the service is going. Services usually loosely follows the format of the church's normal service and can include music (hymns or praise band), dramatic scenes and the Easter message.

Jana Lynn Filip dutifully performs a light rewrite and retains the order of ideas: The service normally is timed to take place so the sun rises during the ceremony. A typical sunrise service format includes music and hymnals from the congregation, choior and/or bands and an Easter message.

Wikipedia says: The first Easter Sunrise Service recorded took place in 1732 in the Moravian congregation at Herrnhut in the Upper Lusatian hills of Saxony. After an all-night prayer vigil, the Single Brethren, the unmarried men, of the community, went to the town graveyard, God's Acre, on the Hill above the town, to sing hymns of praise to the Risen Savior. The following year, the whole Congregation joined in the service. Thereafter the "Sunrise Service" spread around the world with the Moravian missionaries. The procession to the graveyard is accompanied by the antiphonal playing of chorales by brass choirs. The most famous Moravian Sunrise Service is the one of the Salem Congregation in what is now Winston-Salem, NC, held since 1772. Thousands of worshippers gather in front of the church and move to the graveyard in reverent procession. The brass choir there numbers some 500 pieces.

Jana Lyn Filip lightly rewrites and retains the order of ideas: Following a format that by some is believed to be the first recorded sunrise service and dating back to 1732, the Morovian service is believed to have originated in Hemnhug, Germany. A group of unwed men, the Single Brethren, of the community went to the hill above their town to the graveyard, called God’s acre. There they sang hymns and meditated to the Risen Savior until daylight. The following year the entire congregation joined them and thereafter the sunrise service has spread around the world.

Today, a most famous sunrise service is held by the Moravians in Winston-Salem, NC. The band of over 500 members gather around 2:00 a.m. and march the streets of town playing music as a reminder of the sunrise service. The chorale played by the band is “Sleepers Wake!.”

Some details of this last paragraph do not appear in the Wikipedia entry. But their very absence begs the question: How did Jana Lynn Filip wake up one sunny morning a week or so ago and know all this neat stuff about what the chorale played? If she read it someplace and didn't tell readers her source, she's guilty of one of journalism's high crimes: plagiarism. And it wouldn't be the first time.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Word for Word -- Again

Chip Ballard, local-color columnist, routinely writes stories without attribution. He did it again this morning. His front-porch ramble, which boils down to how nice that we have cars so we can drive to the dentist instead of waiting for a circuit rider, launches with a brief history of the automobile. Ballard's words, phrasing, sentence structure and order of ideas throughout the section appear to come directly from a third-rate (also unattributed and unsourced) Internet site called Idea Finder. Here's the side-by-side comparison.

Idea Finder: The earliest ancestor of the modern automobile is probably the Fardier, a three-wheeled, steam-powered, 2.3-mph vehicle built in 1771 by Nicolas Joseph Cugnot for the French minister of war. This cumbersome machine was never put into production because it was much slower and harder to operate than a horse-drawn vehicle.

Chip Ballard: The earliest ancestor of the modern automobile was the Fardier, a three-wheeled, steam-powered, 2.3-mph vehicle built in 1771 by Nicolas Joseph Cugnot for the French minister of war. This machine was never put into production because it was so cumbersome and it was slower and harder to operate than a horse and buggy.

Idea Finder: The milestone vehicle was built in Germany in 1889 by Gottlieb Daimler and Wilhelm Maybach. Powered by a 1.5 hp, two-cylinder gasoline engine, it had a four-speed transmission and traveled at 10 mph.

Chip Ballard: The first internal combustion engine was built by Gottlieb Daimler and Wilhelm Maybach in 1886. It had a 1.5 hp, two-cylinder gasoline engine, a four-speed transmission and traveled at 10 mph.

Idea Finder: The first automobile to be produced in quantity was the 1901 Curved Dash Oldsmobile, which was built in the United States by Ransom E. Olds. Modern automobile mass production, and its use of the modern industrial assembly line, is credited to Henry Ford of Detroit, Michigan, who had built his first gasoline-powered car in 1896. Ford began producing his Model T in 1908, and by 1927, when it was discontinued, over 18 million had rolled off the assembly line.

Chip Ballard: The first automobile to be produced in quantity was the 1901 Curved Dash Oldsmobile, which was built in the United States by Ransom E. Olds. But Modern automobile mass production and the use of the modern industrial assembly line, are credited to Henry Ford of Detroit, Mich., who had built his first gasoline-powered car in 1896. Ford began mass production of his Model T in 1908; by 1927, when it was discontinued, over 18 million had been sold.

Chip's paragraph about the first speeder may have come from a San Diego Porsche club forum where it was posted by Ted Myrus, Autocrosser, back on Jan. 22, 2005: “The nation’s first speeder was arrested in 1899 by a New York policeman riding a bicycle. The speeder was whizzing along at an amazing 12 mph." Myrus gives a source , "SAE Update, 2/05."

Ballard seems to misread the post and reports the speeder was on a bike, instead of the cop. But he likes the phrase “at an amazing 12 mph” well enough to copy that part accurately.

Did Ballard plagiarize his prose from Idea Finders and a Porsche forum? We'll never know because Ballard doesn't attribute. He would have us all believe he just woke up this morning knowing all this stuff. Such a smart man.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Size Matters


Laura Schmid, editor in charge of Arcadia's cats, laundry and eyebrow-grooming news beats (some wax eloquent; others just wax), opened e-mail from a campground resident and assembled a nature story for today's paper without having to leave the office: Bees cluster at Peace River Campground!

Down in the second leg of type, she dutifully reports: "A visiting beekeeper staying at the campground [...] said the cluster of approximately 15,000 to 20,000 [bees ...] is a small cluster.


But that "provided photograph" got her all abuzz and her cutline reads: "A huge cluster of bees hang together ..."

A couple of months ago, Old Word Wolf made fun of some news item or other that wasn't news but just a story that got into the paper only because a reporter happened to be standing next to whatever it was. This isn't quite in the same category because Schmid didn't actually go to the campground, didn't take the photo, and quoted most of the story from an e-mail. This isn't journalism; it's junk. We won't even go into "hang together."

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Is There a Copy Editor in the House?

The expression is "espresso." The company is listed in the local telephone book as Serenity Espresso. Just because the business columnist spells by ear in his lead instead of double-checking doesn't give the copy desk license to do the same.

Later in the same column: A business's new sign is sure to "catch the eye of the many cars that drive by."

Later in the same column: A new store will be stocked with "fishing and things that people look for in a corner market."

The Web headline reads: Local whistle blower opts for private cell.
The story's lead characterizes the inmate as a "whistle blower," but the reporter provides no evidence that the prisoner uncovered or reported fraud or other wrong doing in government or business. There's no evidence of whistle blowing in the story because the person did not blow the whistle.

A reasonably awake copy editor should have noticed as he read the story that the prisoner is in jail for violating her probation after being found guilty of practicing law without a license.

Remember, just because the reporter said it that doesn't make it so. As a matter of fact, if a Sun reporter said it, double check. Twice.



Over in Let's Go, the
entertainment tab, copy desk editors added this delicious headline.

OWW would like to know: what do the English taste like? Chicken, maybe?


Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Scotch Scotus

Dear Editors: Remember the reader: If you make news accessible and informative, readers might buy the paper. If you fill it with unintelligible gobbledygook, they probably won’t.

The gobbledygook factor hit two headlines in the paper this morning. A copy editor uses Scotus as if it’s a common, well-known word. It isn't. Neither news story uses, defines or explains Scotus – which English majors take to mean their favorite Medieval philosopher and historian, John Duns Scotus.

In today’s context, SCOTUS, whether up or down (caps or not) is news jargon. It stands for Supreme Court of the United States and probably originated in a busy reporter’s handwritten notes. A similar acronym, POTUS, is shorthand for president of the United States and was occasionally used in the televsion series "The West Wing." Acronyms are rendered all-caps, unless like radar, laser, scuba and a few others, they have grown so useful that they’ve morphed into real words.

There’s a lot of jargon in journalism. Choice chunks of it are spreading across the Internet, of which SCOTUS and POTUS are prime examples. But remember, dear editors, people inside newsrooms call the first paragraph of a story a lede and they speak of grafs, heds, pix and biz. There’re a lot more, but no editor would think of putting insider lingo into a headline or story (except at the Sun where Southwest Florida Water Management District, correctly shortened to SFWMD, is regularly rendered -- even on first reference -- as the made-up and snide Swiftmud).

Putting your industry’s jargon into your headline says “Look at me! I growed up to be a editer!” Grown-up editors put readers first, not themselves.

Worse, if the reader reaches for a dictionary in search of the word, she won't find scotus in this sense anywhere. It hasn't reached Merriam-Webster, Webster's New World, the OED or a half dozen others OWW has searched.
__________________________________

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

And the Wall Came Tumbling Down

Here’s a new low in mixing the ad side of the business with the news side: Dunkin' Donuts bought a one-third page ad in Charlotte Sun's main section Sunday to advertise its products and promote a give-away – free coffee for a year to the first 50 people who crossed store thresholds at 5 a.m. Thursday (translation: get a gift-card for a cup a week for one year).

Just in case readers missed the pitch, the business news staff rewrote the promotional ad into a “news story.”

OWW is howling with dismay. No one was interviewed, no one was called to get some sort of local angle on the promotion. No local franchisee was named – although store locations throughout the region were helpfully provided advertised in the "news story."

There are eager young interns working at this newspaper. They are learning some mighty bad habits. My advice: Don't put the Charlotte Sun on your résumé. It'll look bad.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Amateur Reporting Makes Company Look Bad

Old Word Wolf hopes the journalism interns next summer get better guidance from Charlotte-Sun's seasoned editors than intern Gabriela Mares did this morning on her story, “Safe Home Solutions.” No one seems to have checked whether she did her homework. The result is a story that makes what’s probably a fine and honest business seem like a very shady operation. Mares’s single-source reporting raises all kinds of red flags and there doesn’t seem to be any effort on her part to address them.

Here’s the story in a nutshell: A company promises to negotiate deals with lenders when a home mortgage holder faces default or foreclosure. The firm is run by two principals, Leroy Andrew Darden and Richard Stusek. They give their business address as 1239 Sumter Blvd., North Port, and claim 20 years in the real estate business.

Here’s what intern Mares missed by not checking the background: Darden is not a currently licensed real estate agent or broker. He is not listed as a licensed financial consultant or a banker. Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation’s division of real estate has no listing for him, active or inactive, past or present. Same for his partner, Richard Stusek, except he is credited with a license as a residential property appraiser, issued late last year.

Why is this important? Our cub reporter lets the men brag in print about having 20 years experience in real estate. But she doesn’t seem to have asked them what phase of the business, how, where, or when. Maybe they came here from out of state. If so, our reporter needs to look into their background. Darden has been local long enough to have been hauled over to the county jail and booked on a DUI in Charlotte County back in 2006, where he was listed as "self employed," but gave no profession.

The North Port business address they give the reporter is not the same as a Port Charlotte address listed with Florida Department of State for “Safe Home Solutions.” However, the North Port address was registered just last Tuesday for a firm called Hydro Farms International, registered in the name of both Darden and Stusek on March 11. So what business are they in? Mares also omits any mention of when the business itself opened. According to the Department of State, it was registered as an entity in January -- hardly the 20 years claimed.

There's no evidence in the story that Mares checked out the firm's Web site, where Safe Home Solutions uses a lot of scare tactics to encourage people facing foreclosures to contact them. More interestingly, the site also offers a sideline: a come-on for people who want to become "an affiliate” of Safe Home Solutions. There’s a lot of hype in the affiliate literature about inside secrets and tons of money to be made, punctuated with lots of exclamation points. Affiliation seems to boil down to acting as a lead-generator for the Darden-Stusek enterprise. Two purported affiliates in St. Louis provide testimonials about how much money they made in just a few weeks from the arrangement. Why didn’t the reporter ask about any of this – all readily visible on the company Web site?

Most telling, I think, is their claim homeowners can’t negotiate with lenders, but Safe Home Solutions can. Why is this so? There is nothing reported in the article that describes what special access the men provide after taking the desperate homeowner’s $1,500 check. In fact, they talk about “persuading the lenders to take less than what’s owed to them.” What’s their leverage? Mares doesn’t ask and the men don’t tell.

And finally, the story is single-sourced. The man who has the most to gain gets to tell the whole story. A journalism intern at a decent newspaper would have been ordered to call up a mortgage banker and get the rest of the story. She would have taken some of the buzz words from Darden’s Web site, such as “loss mitigation,” and asked what they mean in the industry. Most importantly, instead of just taking the man’s word for it, a real editor would have directed the reporter cub to trot out the phone book and call up a couple of local customers to see if they thought their $1,500 was money well spent.

Old Word Wolf isn’t saying Darden’s operation is deceptive or dishonest -- only that the reporter’s negligence to the standards of her own field make it seem that way.

And meanwhile, free help is available from HUD.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Plagiarism Stinks Like Second-Hand Smoke

Erin Hess, a “healthy lifestyle coordinator” and public information officer for Hardee County's health department has produced a boring little article about the effects of second-hand smoke on household pets. And the Charlotte Sun ran it today in the DeSoto edition’s main sheet and, for good measure, reprinted it in Dawn Kreb’s tab, “Health and Fitness.”

The problem is, although local editors felt confident enough in the putative author's honesty to run her article and mug shot, Erin Hess didn't write the piece at all. Her article is a childish "cut and paste" essay carried out with the sophistication of a middle-schooler -- which is just about the time youngsters in Florida schools learn the beauties of attribution. Hess apparently was adjusting her makeup when her language arts teacher told the class about the power of the little phrases: "According to," and "Someone said."

To get started on her article about protecting pets from the dangers of second-hand smoke, Hess (a professional public information person) needed a couple of opening paragraphs. For these she swung by a Web page posted by the New Jersey Record, which reprints (with permission) an article credited to Jura Koncius of the Washington Post . Koncius's entire brief reads like this:

If you really love your pet, stop smoking.

We all know that secondhand tobacco smoke is bad for people, but research indicates that it poses health risks to pets as well. Secondhand smoke has been linked to lymphoma in cats as
well as lung and nasal cancer in dogs.

Arden Moore, a nationally recognized pet expert, says that many pets -- especially cats -- spend most of their lives indoors, subjected to air pollution left by tobacco smoke. And because their body mass is so much smaller than humans', they are at increased risk of being adversely affected by that smoke. Smoke particles can also be ingested by cats, dogs and other pets when they groom themselves and lick their fur.


Back here in Hardee County, our local professional does a little cut-and-paste magic to create her second and third paragraphs, nearly word for word, from the Washington Post writer: We all know that second-hand tobacco smoke is bad for people, but ongoing research indicates that it poses health risks to pets as well. Second-hand smoke has been linked to lymphoma in cats as well as lung and nasal cancer in dogs. Many pets, especially cats, spend most of their lives indoors, subjected to air pollution left by tobacco smoke. And because their body mass is so much smaller than humans, they are at increased risk of being adversely affected by that smoke. Smoke particles can also be ingested by cats, dogs and other pets when they groom themselves and lick their fur.

But Erin Hess finds that’s not enough. There’s still the whole middle section to write copy. For that, she turns to Andrea Thompson, who is credited as the Live Science staff writer at a Web site of the same name. Here’s what she wrote, in part:


According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than 126 million Americans who don't smoke are exposed to secondhand smoke in their homes, vehicles, workplaces, and public places. This exposure causes thousands of lung cancer and heart disease deaths among nonsmokers every year, according to the California Environmental Protection Agency.

Hess, our local professional public information officer, thinks this would make a dandy fourth paragraph, and so she taps out the plagiarist's favorite keyboard shortcut: CTL+A, CTL+C, CTL+V: According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than 126 million Americans who don’t smoke are exposed to second-hand smoke in their homes, vehicles, workplaces and public spaces. This exposure causes thousands of lung cancer and heard disease deaths among nonsmokers every year.

Thompson, over at Live Science, concludes her Web article by proposing designated smoking areas that separate pets from smoke:


To help prevent animals from being adversely affected by smoking, pet owners who smoke should have a designated smoking area that is separated from the home or stop smoking altogether, MacAllister said
Hess likes the idea so much she steals the same idea and identical wording for her fifth paragraph: To help prevent animals from being adversely affected by smoking, pet owners who smoke should have a designated smoking area that is separated from the home or stop smoking altogether.

_____________________________________

Part of attaining the status of a"professional" is demonstrating the ability to explain a field's complex ideas in interesting and clear ways. Erin Hess of Hardee County is billed as a professional in the local health department. In fact, she has a long way to go. Old Word Wolf suggests a course in ethics, for starters.

From the Same Publication:

Web Site of the Week: "Author and health coach Sonny Julius has deigned [sic] a special report about diet, healthy eating practices, and what a person needs to do to be sure they are making the right decisions about the food you eat."

Thanks, but OWW will make her own decisions about the food she eats.

And finally, Let's review those pesky W's again. This time, "Sun Correspondent" Chip Ballard tells us a burglary happened "less than a month after five members of the Zolfo Springs Police Department were let go because of a financial crunch the town was facing," and he helpfully adds the home was invaded at about 12:30 p.m.

Please, Chip, might that be one day less than a month? Or 29 days less than a month? Wouldn't it just be clearer and more reader friendly to simply tell readers the robbery took place on a particular day?



Saturday, March 15, 2008

Professional Plagiarist II

Two weeks after a financial advisor is caught plagiarizing his consumer-advice column in the pages of the Charlotte Sun, Jim Sanders, president of Charlotte-DeSoto Building Industry Association, has his picture and by-line prominently displayed over a column in Charlotte Sun’s Marketplace, a real-estate tab that runs on Saturdays. Like the financial consultant, the home-builder's article appears to have been written and published first by someone else.

In the newspaper industry (as well as other professions), a by-line tells readers that everything that follows, unless otherwise credited, is by the person named. Jim Sanders doesn’t say anywhere in the article carrying his by-line that it was published earlier this year on the Internet by Builder’s Association of Central Pennsylvania.

If Jim Sanders graduated from a Florida high school, he was taught about plagiarism. The lesson is if you didn’t write it, it's wrong to say or imply you did.

Sanders lets down his readers, sullies the reputation of a newspaper that was nice enough to give his organization what amounts to a free ad, and embarrasses three or four of his English teachers. He forces readers to wonder what else he may feel entitled to steal.

That's the editorial. Here are the facts -- a side-by-side comparison of what Sanders submitted as his own work and what the Pennsylvania group posted with a copyright notice on the Web page, Builders Association of Central Pennsylvania, under the title “Assess Your Home’s Efficiency with an Energy Audit.”

BACP -- As 2008 begins and winter sets in, you may be wondering how to save money on your energy bills this year. Conducting a do-it-yourself home energy audit is a fast, relatively simple way to assess how much energy your home consumes and determine what you can do to make your home more energy efficient.
Jim Sanders – With warmer weather just around the corner, you may be wondering how to save money on your energy bills this year. Conducting a do-it-yourself home energy audit is a fast, relatively simple way to assess how much energy your home consumes and determine what you can do to make your home more energy efficient.

BACP -- A home energy audit will show you where your home is losing energy, how efficient your heating and cooling systems are, and ways to converse electricity. All it takes is a thorough inspection of the areas listed here and keeping a checklist of the problems you found.
Jim Sanders -- A home energy audit will show you where your home is losing energy, how efficient your heating and cooling systems are, and ways to converse electricity. All it takes is a thorough inspection of the areas listed here and keeping a checklist of the problems you found.

BACP -- Air leaks. Stopping or minimizing drafts can save 5 to 30 percent of your annual energy costs. Some places to inspect where air commonly seeps from homes include gaps around: baseboards, wall and ceiling junctures, electrical outlets, switch plates, window frames, weather stripping, fireplace dampers, attic doors, window-mounted air conditioners and foundation seals.
Jim Sanders--Air leaks. Stopping or minimizing drafts can save 5 to 30 percent of your annual energy costs. Some places to inspect where air commonly seeps from homes include gaps around: baseboards, wall and ceiling junctures, electrical outlets, switch plates, window frames, weather stripping, fireplace dampers, attic doors, window-mounted air conditioners and foundation seals.

BACP — On your home’s exterior, look at the areas where two different building materials meet, such as corners and areas where siding or brick come together with chimneys or the foundation. If you can rattle windows or see daylight around door or window frames, you likely are losing air.
Jim Sanders—On your home’s exterior, look at the areas where two different building materials meet, such as corners and areas where siding or brick come together with chimneys or the foundation. If you can rattle windows or see daylight around door or window frames, you likely are losing air.

BACP — Once you’ve identified the leaks, seal them with caulk, weather stripping or the same material as the original seal. Replacing windows with new, high-performance ones will improve your home’s energy efficiency and get you a break on your taxes. An inexpensive alternative is to attach plastic sheets around your windows.
Jim Sanders — Once you’ve identified the leaks, seal them with caulk, weather stripping or the same material as the original seal. Replacing windows with new, high-performance ones will improve your home’s energy efficiency and get you a break on your taxes. An inexpensive alternative is to attach plastic sheets around your windows.

BACP—Insulation. In older homes especially, the amount of insulation in the ceiling and walls may be insufficient for current standards. See if your attic door is insulated and closes tightly. Openings around pipes, ductwork and chimneys should be sealed. Look for a vapor barrier—tarpaper or a plastic sheet—under the attic insulation. To check your walls, make a small hole in a closet or other out-of-the-way place and probe into the wall with a long stick or screwdriver. The area should be completely filled with an insulating material.
Jim Sanders—Insulation. In older homes especially, the amount of insulation in the ceiling and walls may be insufficient for current standards. See if your attic door is insulated and closes tightly. Openings around pipes, ductwork and chimneys should be sealed. Look for a vapor barrier—tarpaper or a plastic sheet—under the attic insulation. To check your walls, make a small hole in a closet or other out-of-the-way place and probe into the wall with a long stick or screwdriver. The area should be completely filled with an insulating material.

BACP—Fill the gaps in any openings with expanding foam. Flexible caulk should be used to seal any electrical boxes in the ceiling. If your home lacks a vapor barrier, consider painting interior ceilings with vapor barrier paint. This reduces the amount of water vapor that can pass through the ceiling and reduce your insulation’s effectiveness.
Jim Sanders—Fill the gaps in any openings with expanding foam. Flexible caulk should be used to seal any electrical boxes in the ceiling. If your home lacks a vapor barrier, consider painting interior ceilings with vapor barrier paint. This reduces the amount of water vapor that can pass through the ceiling and reduce your insulation’s effectiveness.

BACP—Heating and Cooling Equipment. Inspect your heating and cooling equipment. See if ducts and pipes that are located in unheated spaces and your water heater and hot water pipes are insulated. Dirt streaks around your ductwork, especially near the seams, are evidence of leaks.
Jim Sanders—Heating and Cooling Equipment. Inspect your heating and cooling equipment. See if ducts and pipes that are located in unheated spaces and your water heater and hot water pipes are insulated. Dirt streaks around your ductwork, especially near the seams, are evidence of leaks.

BACP—Have your equipment checked and cleaned by a professional annually. If you have a forced-air furnace, replace your filters as soon as they are dirty. Even if they aren’t, replace them every 30 to 60 days. Consider replacing units that are more than 15 years old with a new energy-efficient one.
Jim Sanders—Have your equipment checked and cleaned by a professional annually. If you have a forced-air furnace, replace your filters as soon as they are dirty. Even if they aren’t, replace them every 30 to 60 days. Consider replacing units that are more than 15 years old with a new energy-efficient one.

BACP—Lighting. Look at the bulbs in your home and determine if a lower-watt bulb would work just as well for your needs. If you have an area where lights are on for extended periods of time, a compact fluorescent lamp (CFL) can save up to 75 percent of the lighting energy of an incandescent bulb.
Jim Sanders—Lighting. Look at the bulbs in your home and determine if a lower-watt bulb would work just as well for your needs. If you have an area where lights are on for extended periods of time, a compact fluorescent lamp (CFL) can save up to 75 percent of the lighting energy of an incandescent bulb.

BACP—A home audit is a great way to find out your home’s energy deficiencies and make simple improvements that will save you time and money in the long run.
Jim Sanders—A home audit is a great way to find out your home’s energy deficiencies and make simple improvements that will save you time and money in the long run.

BACP—Visit http://www.blogger.com/. To subscribe to NAHB’s free consumer e-newsletter on all things home, visit www.nahb.org/housekeys.

Jim Sanders omits this last paragraph. It might reveal his source. How classy it would have been to simply say: This Consumer Tip has been written and distributed by the National Association of Home Builders.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Who (It's One of the Five W's)

Real reporters follow up. When they write a story about an unidentified anything or anybody, they make a little sticky note to remind themselves to call authorities the next day and get the names or whatever was missing.

John "I Don't Do Follow Up" Lawhorne reported last Sunday that two unidentified quadrille team riders were injured at the Arcadia rodeo and taken away by ambulance -- after he noted that the horses were okay. The accident even went into the headline.

But did Lawhorne call to find out who the injured were? No. But that out-of-town newspaper, the Herald Tribune (a New York Times product), carried the information the next day.

Lazy Lead's a Lie

"Finding affordable housing just got a bit easier for DeSoto and Hardee county residents," says the story lead.

Uhm. No it didn't. First the funds have to be released, then the agencies must find a contractor, pull permits, assemble crews -- in other words, actually build the houses. Nothing "just got a bit easier," except writing a lazy lead that's a lie because it's months ahead of the event it claims just happened.

In fact, in the process of slapping a congressman's packaged news release up on the Web, no reporter was asked to pick up the telephone and find out when the residences' certificates of occupancy are likely to be issued. That's when finding affordable housing will get a bit easier.

The Morning Suck Up

A local businessman is over-charged for his mining-permit renewal. The businessman asks a county commissioner to look into it. An administrative error is uncovered. The mistake is corrected and the businessman pays the correct, lesser amount. The result: Local Reporter Writes Mighty Mouse Headline

(Yes, sadly, reporters write many of the headlines that run in the Charlotte Sun and its outlying editions.)

The headline is meaningless. The “news” story is meaningless. How many administrative errors are corrected every day in local government with no fanfare whatsoever? Clearly, DeSoto Sun News Editor Jon Sica couldn’t suppress his urge to butter up Elton Langford. The unanswered question is, “Why?”

To make matters worse, Sica is taking golf lessons. His lead: "...the county is calling for a mulligan." To make matters worse, Sica calls the unremarkable series of events a "drastic action." To make matters worse, the newspaper actually ran this treacle.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Be Prepared: Girl Scout Plagiarism

It's too small to read here, but the local by-line says "by Kathy Carol, Girl Scouts of Gulfcoast Florida."

For good measure, the end-note says "Written by Kathy Carol -- director of public relations for Girl Scouts of Gulfcoast Florida."

The problem is a nearly identical story (dates are adjusted) was posted two years ago on the Internet and carries the by-line of Susie Mamola of Asheville, N.C.

Kathy Carol is setting a fine example for our daughters: If you're too busy to write it yourself, steal it from the Internet. If it's for a "good cause," the ethics don't matter. Shame on you, Mrs. Carol. And shame on DeSoto Sun news editors Laura Schmid and Jon Sica for being too lazy to conduct a 60-second Internet check to preserve the integrity of their own pages.

Afterthought: It's unethical, for sure, but almost as bad, it's stupid. What makes plagiarists think if they can find it on the Internet that Old World Wolf won't? Another big hint: Mrs. Carol submitted two articles; the one she probably wrote (mainly local names and thank-yous for a "Cookie-Off contest") does not use the same diction, style, voice or tone as the plagiarized one. Amateur writers have a hard time disguising the idiosyncracies of their personal writing -- and any savvy newspaper editor (or English teacher) with an ear for the language will hear the differences.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Belittling the Speaker

John Lawhorne, our man in Arcadia (the one who can’t remember to include who, what, when, where and why in a news report and who is proud to demonstrate he has no use for the inverted pyramid), has suddenly undertaken dialect quotes. Yesterday, instead of simply quoting a county commissioner who regularly uses standard, grammatical American word forms, Lawhorne turns linguist: “We’re gonna need the second trait for sure...,” Lawhorne reports Commissioner Ronald Neads as saying when told a new administrator is fair, frugal and honest.

Lawhorne is evidently stone deaf to how condescending his transcription sounds. He is essentially making fun of a man’s pronunciation – at least the pronunciation as Lawhorne heard it. There’s no particular context of humor or informality. The quote emerged at a meeting convened to hire a new administrator.

If Lawhorne wants to render gonna, he better be prepared to render hafta, wanna, woulda, yer and a bunch of others, as well. And he better be prepared to explain why he decided to belittle his sources in print.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Last Year's Headline on Today's News

Toxic toothpaste hits the streets

LOS ANGELES — Criminal charges have been filed against officials of a company that prosecutors say imported and distributed nearly 90,000 tubes of Chinese toothpaste containing a poisonous substance and a wholesaler that supplied local stores with the tubes, City Attorney Rocky Delgadillo announced Thursday.

Selective Imports Corp. sold the toothpaste containing diethylene glycol to distributors nationwide between December 2005 and May 2007, prosecutors said. Vernon Sales Inc. is accused of buying some of the tubes and reselling them to Los Angeles stores.


Vernon Sales President Kamyab Toofer and Vice President Pejman Mossay each were charged with 14 criminal counts of receiving, selling and delivering an adulterated drug.



Old Word Wolf has blamed sleeping, smoking, drinking, adolescent and lazy editors, but stuff like this goes beyond personal shortcomings of character. Literacy, anyone? As Nancy Reagan used to tell us, "Reading is Fun-da-mental!"

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Those Pesky Apostrophes


Old Word Wolf finds association contests suspect for a number of reasons. This morning's full-page Sun brag highlights most of them.

--Why not announce who gave the award? It makes a difference if it is the local chamber of commerce or the Pulitzer committee.
--Was the contest limited to "members only?" Most of these things are. Pay your dues, get a trophy.
--Were the judged samples self-selected or were they evaluated over a random range of time? Each method represents two wildly different standards of quality.
--Was there a time period involved? Perphaps this award is for 2005, like the "Pulitzer Finalist" brag on page 2?
--Editing: Circulation is a measure of size, making that line needlessly redundant.

And finally, who the heck proofread this masterpiece of design and layout?

Maybe the brag should be "We can print it even if we don't know the difference between a contraction and a pronoun."

And over in the front section:


Another in-house production -- this one crying out for an apostrophe.


Monday, March 3, 2008

It's a Lie

At the right, see that middle section, signed by "Robert Channey MD" and the logo of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services? The man a local chiropractor calls Robert Channey is supposedly an "assistant surgeon general of the United States." Well, he isn't.

How do I know? Old Word Wolf called the federal Department of Health and Human Services, (202) 690-7694, where Rebecca Ayer and Jennifer Koentop, public information officers, were happy to conduct an extensive search. After a weekend-long search last fall, they called me back to report neither of them could find any record or evidence of anyone with that name having worked at HHS, and neither has anyone by that name been designated an assistant U.S. Surgeon General. "And we went pretty far back into some very old records," Ayer said.

Furthermore, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services doesn't endorse products and doesn't like its logo being used to imply that such an endorsement exists, she said.

So, the chiropractor wants you to trust him. But he -- who heard from OWW about this apparently fictional physician back in September -- is willing to plaster a known lie all over his advertising. (Do an Internet search. Every hit on the name leads back to the spine-stretcher's manufacturer. There is no reference to such a person apart from the manufacturer, testimonials for this particular product, and Stephen Stoke's advertising.)

Sunday, March 2, 2008

OWW's Not the Only One ...

Part of a Letter to the Editor this morning:
"There is virutally no local investigative reporting in your [DeSoto] paper. By comparison, your sister paper in North Port covers virtually every important city issue. If the city reporter and editorial staff are afraid to do their job, you owe it to your public to find people that will." -- So writes Joe Fink of Arcadia.
Don't click to read more below the fold because Mr. Fink has said it all.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Recycling Headlines

In Arcadia, we don't recycle glass, plastic, lawn clippings, aluminum or old batteries and paint. (When we did, the county picked up everything and dumped it in neat piles in the county landfill.) But over at the DeSoto Sun, editors recycle news (the phrase "good news this week .. " alerts readers the upcoming items will have appeared at least four times in the prior week's pages as community news, bulletins, briefs, etc.); they recycle clichés (Jon Sica's current favorite is "bureaucratic purgatory"); and they recycle headlines. In the short space of 36 days, the editing team of Sica and Schmid have saved ... what? ... by the judicious reuse of what is arguably the world's most recognizable cliché. Oh well, at least they dropped the unnecessary hyphen.

It makes no difference to the writer or editors that the story has nothing to do with optimism, pessimism, or even glasses of water. The story is about the absence of a local ordinance to penalize folks who ignore water-conservation mandates. But hey, who says a headline has to reflect the story in Our Happy News Town?