Cookies for Santa

Two dangers in writing mandated, weekly columns in a family-owned newspaper are painfully revealed by the DeSoto Sun's general manager: the pressure to generate copy to feed the beast and the urge to butter up the boss when Christmas bonus time looms. The two made an unfortunate marriage last week. What should have been a private message from grateful servant to kindly master landed, just four days before Christmas, on the front page of Our Town:

Our company is exciting to work for and its top management is dedicated to the bone when it comes to the needs and wants of serving Sun readers. Working for this company is like preparing for Christmas Day, but doing so every day of the year. After all, we gather, package and deliver in the wee hours of the morning before most even know we’ve been there.

Shoot, our paper is full of information: it’s educational and inspirational. At times some might say it’s a bit too sensational, but it’s loaded with goodies that area merchants care to share so your needs and wants can be met, as business dealings are handled with respect.

Gee! It’s great to work and be part of the fun. I’ll have to be ending now, 'cause I’ve got other work to be done. – Joe Gallimore.

The two last paragraphs appear to have been composed for an almost-poem.