Double Header: Quack Plagiarizes

This week's Lake Placid Journal’s edition of Feeling Fit features a story too good to be true. For one thing, it’s quackery, plain and simple, promoted by a “master herbalist” who needs to recoup her $1800 investment in a foot-bath detoxifier from gullible spa-goers.

But more important, the Winter Haven quack has apparently plagiarized her story. The article is nearly identical to a 2006 posting by a South Carolina spa quack (scroll down about five entries). Here’s the side-by-side comparison.

Corlis Johnson of Winter Haven, writes her own top to the article, but quickly moves in her second paragraph to a nearly perfect copy of a colleague in quackery from North Carolina:
xxxxxxxxxxxxx Tired of feeling tired?
Today, it’s our good fortune to live in an age in which remarkable advances in medicine are giving us potent new tools to help us live longer healthier lives. As a pharmacist specializing in alternative treatments. I am always seeking new ways to help my clients improve their health. One new technology that I am excited about is Bio-Electric Stimulating Technique. It works to help your body strengthen and balance itself, recharging your body’s “battery.”

Here's where the copy cat enters. Our Winter Haven quack writes:
xxxThe unit works through the most basic and plentiful substance in your body — water! xxxThe human body is approximately 80 percent water.
xxxWater is an excellent conductor of electricity. The human body functions off of electromagnetic signals.
xxxThe brain sends signals to each part of the body and back to the brain. When cells have enough energy they are able to function properly. The new Bioelectric Stimulating technique uses an Energy Foot Spa that electrically charges water in a foot bath.
xxxThe water (which your feet soak in) charges your body which allows the body to absorb vital energy on a cellular level, creating cell balance.

And the North Carolina quack wrote some two years ago:
xxxThe unit works through the most basic and plentiful substance in your body: water! xxxThe human body is approximately 80% water. Water is an excellent conductor of electricity. The human body functions off of electro-magnetic signals. The brain sends signals to each part of the body and back to the brain. When cells have enough energy they are able to function properly. The Energy Foot Spa charges the water and the water (which your feet soak in) charges your body. This allows the body to absorb vital energy on a cellular level, creating cell balance.

Winter Haven Quack:
xxOnce the body receives the energy, the body starts detoxing on its own. This may happen through the feet while in the bath, or through the urinary system, bowels and skin. As the Energy Foot Spa starts detoxifying and energizing on the cellular level, the body is able to release waste products more readily.
xxxThe unit charges the water and the water charges the entire body. Similar to a car battery that charges a car, the human body greatly benefits from being re-charged.

North Carolina Quack:
xxOnce the body receives the energy, the body starts detoxing on its own. This may happen through the feet while in the bath, or through the urinary system, bowels and skin. As the Energy Foot Spa starts detoxifying and energizing the system on a cellular level, the body is able to release waste products more readily.

xxxThe Aqua Chi unit charges the water and the water (in which your feet are soaking) charges your entire body!. Similar to a car battery that charges a car, the human body greatly benefits from being re-charged.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxWhat to expect
Winter Haven Quack:
xxxAn energy foot bath is a natural health modality that may help you eliminate toxins and increase your overall sense of health and well-being.
North Carolina Quack:
xxxIn just 35 minutes, the Aqua Chi unit may energize cells, may balance and strengthen the body to eliminate toxins and may increase your overall sense of health and well-being.
At this point, Winter Haven Quack departs from the script and skips the warnings about not treating clients who wear a pacemaker, might be pregnant, has had an organ transplant or takes prescription blood thinners. Instead, Winter Haven Quack prescribes the device for low energy, depression, anxiety, headaches, blood pressure, joint pain, insomnia, menopausal symptoms, muscular pain, constipation, skin conditions and indigestion.

xxxAnd just so we know, she explains away the murky water and gives us some hokus pokus about the body absorbing energy from the water:
xxxAt the end of an energizing foot spa treatment, the footbath will always be discolored. Much of this discoloration is due to the minerals in the water or the type of sea salt that is being used in the foot bath, and some of it may be due to the body releasing toxins from your skin into the water. The color changes will vary between clients and sessions.
xxxThe important thing is to realize that the machine itself is not pulling things out of the body, rather while your body absorbs the energy in the water it is absorbing vital energy on cellular level. Once the body receives the energy, it starts detoxing on its own. The results can be dramatic — eliminating the toxins and giving you more energy and vitality
Corlis Johnson is a holistic pharmacist, master herbalist, nutritionist, and weight loss
specialist. She owns My Natures Delight Natural Foods and Herb Shop at 3015 Cypress Gardens Rd., Winter Haven.

Old Word Wolf isn't going to take the time or effort to debunk the idea that the body is absorbing "vital energy" on a "cellular level" from a salty foot wash and all the devolves from there. Maybe later.