Editor: A Pay Grade, Not a Job Description

The general manager of the DeSoto Sun writes a column this morning praising a large, metal-sided, tin-roofed building. It's essentially an indoor arena for horse shows, concerts and the occasional boxing match promoted by the general manager himself. He writes: “Over the years, this first-class facility has seen a grand assortment of venues held inside its walls.”

Venue does not mean event. It means locale, place, site. The civic center is the venue; its walls cannot hold an assortment of venues, grand or otherwise. The misuse is sort of like saying the Atlantic “sees a grand assortment of oceans inside its shores.”

The writer calls the land surrounding the tin arena "spectacular." Spectacular describes Disney World -- a spectacle. Spectacular does not accurately identify flat, mown cow pasture with nary a tree or hill in sight. It does, however, make something of a spectacle of the writer and editors.

The writer also opines that the building has the “potential for ... entertainment for practically every conceivable event imaginable.” Surely the colliding modifiers in this little train of words would awaken an editor? If not, the over-wrought hyperbole might rouse him/her from the land of Nod? Not at the DeSoto Sun, where “editor” is a pay grade, not a job description.

BFF's Don't Report on BFF's

It's a small town. Reporters develop friendships with people in high places. Real reporters keep the evidence out of their stories. Laura Schmid seems unable to do that. This is how she reports one school board member's comments during a debate on whether to re-up with Florida School Boards Association:

Board chairwoman Karen Chancey diplomatically oberserved that she understood the arguments for both sides. [...] She pragmatically observed, "We can always rejoin again."

We're glad Laura likes Karen, but it's wrong to work her personal opinion about her BFF's diplomacy and pragmatism into her reporting.

Schmid's journalistic sin is especially heinous during election season.

And one more thing. Because this is Old Word Wolf's blog and opinions are permitted, OWW is reproducing this sorry quotation from an earlier post, just to keep it fresh in the minds of readers who might like to know what's happening in local science classes:

"My personal belief is creationism and I believe it should be taught along with evolution because our students should have a choice," said DeSotoCounty School Board member Karen Chancey.

No wonder DeSoto County schools' FCAT science test scores have headed south.

Budget Basics: Percent of What?

This morning's school-district budget story gives readers a laundry list of cost reductions undertaken by the DeSoto School Board in order to balance a budget that will be receiving less state funding for the next school year.

Unfortunately, it's impossible for readers to gauge the impact of the cuts because the reporter won't tell readers the size of the overall, proposed budget and she doesn't report the size of the state allocation that's being reduced.

Taking $2 million from a $6-million budget is a whopping 33 percent hit. Taking $2 million from a $60-million budget is a more manageable 3-percent belt tightening. Taking $2 million from a $600-million budget is a minuscule 0.3-percent shave. So which is it, dear reporter? She's not telling.

Readers who want the facts have to make a phone call to the district. There, they can learn DeSoto had anticipated income of about $40 million, of which $27 million would have come from state funds, the largest income category in its estimated $60-million budget.

Old World Wolf made a phone call to clarify a story; why didn't the paid reporter, who has attained the status of "editor," do the same before she hit the send key?

Seventh-Paragraph Stretch

Most reporters (local exceptions exist) – especially ones who’ve earned the title “editor,” and certainly editors who handle our daily dose of cops and robbers – know readers expect four or five basic facts in a story’s first sentence or two: like who, what, when, where, and why. In some cops stories, readers can forgive the “why” part. After all, who really fathoms the motives of the most deeply depraved among us? But there’s no excuse for leaving out “where.”

In today’s lead blotter item, the reporter-editor doesn’t write a dateline and, while not technically omitting “where,” she withholds it until the seventh and last paragraph. Meany.

As a direct result of that omission, a simple story about burglars who tried to reduce a Sears store’s inventory Monday dissolves into a head-scratcher. The reporter ends up generating more questions than she answers.

Identified at the top as Bartow men, two big-screen TV fans executed their feloneous heist, it is implied, in that somewhat distant city, 35 miles up the road. But does tiny Bartow even have a Sears store? No, it doesn’t. Readers with local knowledge may grasp this, but the reporter doesn’t share that with the general population, so myriad possibilities arise. Englewood? Murdock? Lots of Sears stores around these parts.

It sort of sounds like, a reader might guess, that Bartow police are providing the information. The story says witnesses called police – but it’s a deputy (district unknown) who pulls over the getaway car. In these parts, deputies are affiliated with sheriff’s departments, not police forces, so who exactly did what?

The reporter writes with initial caps that the Department of Corrections had sent the men in the car out into the world as part of an early-release program. So which Department of Corrections with capitals – Florida, Georgia, New Jersey?

In the end – which coincides with the seventh paragraph – DeSoto County Sheriff’s deputies arrested the bad guys. In DeSoto County, there’s a small Sears store in the 1100 block of Vermont Avenue. Maybe that’s where this story happened. But the reporter doesn’t share.

Editor's Disease

Susan Hoffman, Assistant DeSoto Editor, entertains readers this morning with her olfactory nostalgia for the scents of her childhood home in Akron, Ohio. She has caught editor's disease, which is rampant in these parts. It's characterized by a journalist's delusion that readers need to know about her childhood 25 years ago in a city 1,500 miles away instead of what's going on in their own community. Editor's disease often results in a compulsion to write about one's own family and its charming foibles, pets, and personal vacations. In one notorious local case, a diseased editor produced a column about eyebrow waxing and another about 16 bags of laundry. Old Word Wolf hopes the new editor becomes innoculated as soon as possible.

The cops item as it ran ... :

Two Bartow men were arrested Monday after several witnesses allegedly saw them breaking into the Sears store.

According to the police report, witnesses called police Monday night after hearing what sounded like a gunshot. Several witnesses said they then saw two men breaking into the Sears store.

The witnesses described the vehicle the men were driving, and when a deputy passed a vehicle of that description, he made a routine traffic stop.

According to the police report, the deputy could see several flat-screen TVs, along with some gloves and what looked like a mask. When the deputy asked for ID, he learned the two were on early-release status from the Department of Corrections.

According to the police report, several witnesses positively identified the two men and the vehicle. The store owner identified the TVs in the car as having come from the store by matching up serial numbers. The TVs were valued at $5,000.

Police also discovered a camouflage jacket in the car, along with two pairs of gloves, a mask and a crow bar.

DeSoto County sheriff’s deputies arrested Marion Bruce Stewart, 29, and Christopher Lowell Wilson, 36, both of Bartow, on charges of grand theft ($5,000 to $10,000), burglary of a structure, criminal mischief and possession of burglary tools. Bond for each man was set at $13,250.

School Test Scores Story Misleads

Friday’s headline on an op-ed piece: "DeSoto Should Be Proud of its Schools." It’s one man’s praise for the local district’s standardized test scores, which did improve in some areas. Unfortunately, neither headline nor story gives readers the whole picture. The praise serves to hide the disappointing achievements in DeSoto's public schools.

Here are facts that not one of the three articles by three reporters over the last month covering FCAT scores has acknowledged: Among 17 categories, the gap between the local passing rate and statewide passing rate was eliminated in just one class for one test (fourth grade math). In eight categories, the local lag behind the state average was reduced to some degree, but in eight remaining categories, the local lag behind state averages increased. Here’s a blow-by-blow summary starting at the top and working down through science, math and reading.

Science
First, DeSoto High’s 11th grade science scores went down while statewide numbers went up: In 2007, 24 percent of local 11th graders passed FCAT’s science section. In 2008, only 21 percent passed. That’s a 3 percentage-point drop. Statewide, 11th graders made a modest gain: 37 percent passed the science section in 2007 and 38 percent passed in 2008. The numbers tell the story: In 2007, DeSoto High’s pass rate lagged 13 points behind the statewide average; this year the gap widened to 17 points.

Among local eighth graders, 25 percent passed FCAT’s science section in both 2007 and 2008. In the same period, the statewide average rose from 38 percent to 40 percent. Again, the numbers tell the story: in 2007, DeSoto eighth graders lagged behind the state-wide average pass rate by 13 points; this year the gap widened to 15 points.

For fifth graders, the youngest group tested in science, the data shows a slightly better story: In 2007, only 23 percent passed, but by 2008 the pass-rate jumped 11 points to 34 percent. That means DeSoto’s 2007 pass rate lagged behind the state’s by 29 points; in 2008 the district reduced the gap to 9 points below the statewide pass rate.

Math
Turning to math scores, in 2007, 53 percent of DeSoto High’s 10th graders passed FCAT math, 12 percentage points behind the statewide pass rate for the same group. Locally, in 2008, 56 percent passed, but because of statewide gains, the local pass rate gap increased to 13 points behind the state numbers.

Among local ninth graders, 46 percent passed math in 2007 and 56 percent passed in 2008. That commendable improvement lessened the local lag behind the state pass rate from 14 points in 2007 to 9 points behind the state in 2008.

Among eighth graders, 53 percent passed math in 2007, but only 51 percent passed in 2008. That decline increased the local lag behind the state from 10 percentage points in 2007 to 16 points in 2008.

Among local seventh graders, 53 percent passed math in 2007, making the local lag 6 percentage points below statewide achievement. In 2008, 59 percent of DeSoto seventh graders passed math, narrowing to gap to 2 points below the statewide rate.

Among local sixth graders, 51 percent passed math in 2007, putting them one point ahead of the statewide pass rate. However, in 2008, only 41 percent of local sixth graders passed the math test, creating a 12-point lag behind the statewide pass rate.

Among local fifth graders, 42 percent passed math in 2007, leaving them 17 points behind the statewide pass rate. In 2008, 58 percent passed, reducing the fifth-grade math gap to 3 points.

The best story comes from local fourth grade classes, where the math pass rate jumped from 61 percent in 2007 to 73 percent in 2008. That improvement erased an 8-point lag in 2007, turning it into a 2-point exceed in 2008.

Reading
Turning to reading scores, just 19 percent of DeSoto 10th graders passed in 2007 and 24 percent passed in 2008. Statewide in the same period, the average number of students passing 10th grade reading increased from 34 percent to 38 percent. The numbers tell the story: DeSoto’s pass rate lagged 15 points in 2007; in 2008 it lagged a litte less -- by 10 points.

Among local ninth graders, 27 percent passed reading in 2007 and 31 percent passed in 2008. Statewide, the percentage of students passing increased from 41 percent in 2007 to 46 percent in 2007. DeSoto’s 2007 pass rate lagged 14 points behind the state; in 2008, the local lag increased to 15 points behind the state.

For local eighth graders, 39 percent passed reading in 2007 and 40 percent passed in 2008. Statewide, the pass percentage increased from 49 percent in 2007 to 53 percent in 2008. That means in 2007, DeSoto’s eighth grade reading pass rate lagged 10 points behind the state; in 2008, the gap increased to 13 points.

Among local seventh graders, 50 percent passed reading in 2007 and 57 percent passed in 2008. Statewide, 63 percent of their peers passed in 2007 and 65 percent passed in 2008. The local achievement gap narrowed from 13 points in 2007 to 8 points in 2008.

For local sixth graders, 55 percent passed reading in both 2007 and 2008, compared to 62 percent statewide in 2007 and 63 percent in 2008. The local gap increased from 7 points to 8 points in the period.

Among local fifth graders, 61 percent passed reading in 2007; that declined to 60 percent in 2008. Statewide, 72 percent passed in 2007, declining to 67 percent in 2008. The DeSoto gap was 11 points in 2007 and narrowed to 7 points in 2008.

Among the youngest FCAT reading students, fourth graders, 60 percent of local youngsters passed in 2007; in 2008, that rose to 68 percent, significantly narrowing the district’s lag behind the state achievement levels. In 2007, 68 percent of students statewide passed fourth-grade reading; in 2008, 70 percent passed. The local gap was reduced from 8 points to 2 points behind the statewide average.

In Conclusion
Reporters have an obligation not to sugarcoat news. When local officials tell reporters, readers, taxpayers and voters all's well, genuine journalists will dig behind the self-serving spin. Not one single paid staffer at the DeSoto Sun bothered to do that. Maybe they don't know how.

It took Old Word Wolf about a two hours to sift through Florida Department of Education Excel worksheets to compile the info and another hour to write it up. Shame on Sun “reporters” who would rather make nicey nice with Powers That Be than inform readers how their schools are actually performing -- which is significantly below statewide averages.

Journalism 101: Write Accurate Headlines

The Dunn-Rankin ranks have been trying to put a good face on the economic downturn by running lots of stories in their newspapers recently that tell readers things aren't as bad as everyone else makes out. Of course, readers aren't stupid and most probably ignore the boosterism, seeing it for what it is.

But clearly, the headline writers got management's memo, and they're willing to play along. The deck on today's top story from Our Little Town: "DeSoto building activity shows some signs of recovery."

Unfortunately for journalism, readers can read the six-graf masterpiece all day without once stumbling on the word "recovery" or any hint of the idea. Neither is there any effort by the reporter to compare the news -- county commisioners approve three commercial development plans -- with same-time-last-year data or even last-month or last-quarter figures.

At a real newspaper, a sharp-eyed editor would demand: Recovery from what, exactly? and then bounce the hed or the story (should be both) back for a rewrite.

But there seems to be no sharp copy editor around to do that -- or at least not one to willing to buck the memo. As a result, a headline unsupported by the story delivers a false impression of the news while giving readers a specific look at the biases and carelessness that govern The Daily Excuse.

For Old Word Wolf's take on today's X-rated banner, you'll have to read below the fold.







A recent letter to the editor begged publishers not to discontinue their newspapers in the schools program. This morning, Old Word Wolf is trying to think how, exactly, she would explain today's banner to the class. Her usual first strategy is to help the cubs locate a dictionary -- often a group activity. Once the M's are accessed, the closest thing they'd find to "mons venus" is "mons venerius." In Merriam-Webster's, that discovery rewards them with a blunt directive to see "mons pubis."

The kids aren't quite wide-eyed with delight yet, but they will be as soon as they deciper "the rounded eminence of fatty tissue on the pubic prominence, esp. of the human female." If they happen to use Webster's New World dictionary, they get the added helpful hint, "which becomes covered with hair at puberty," and no translation is apt to be needed at all.

Fortunately, OWW is fully prepared to deconstruct Latin puns, even ribald ones. But it remains up to each DeSoto County school teacher to individually determine how to incorporate "Mons Venus Nude" into her community newspaper lesson plan. Any questions, class?

Not To Be Used for Navigation

The newspaper has fewer people to do more work. So it's logical to inject a "labor intensive" page, right?

That's exactly how the publisher describes "Florida Report" in his June 29 column: "a very labor-intensive process." He never gets around to telling readers what makes it so, but it's evident those arrows darting across the page may be part of the intensity. If nothing else, they create so many more ways for the Sun to screw up.

Take today's page, for example. The headline says, "Tiffany art to be shown in Winter Park." The dateline clearly says WINTER PARK. And yet the arrow boldly aims at the eastern reaches of Interstate 75, near Miramar. Winter Park and the museum of the story are accessed from Interstate 4, a bit southwest of Orlando. It was too labor intensive to look it up.

The Lehigh Acres story arrow points to a large blank spot on the map north of Naples -- no city listed there. It was too labor intensive to set a bit of extra type to overlay the map.

The Oldsmar story is from a cute little village perched on the north shore of Tampa Bay, across the water from Safety Harbor. The arrow directs readers to an unidentified inland spot 40 miles north of Tampa. It was too labor intensive to be accurate.

Back when we sailed around the Caribbean, Old Word Wolf and her mate occasionally stumbled on cartoon maps -- the kind touristy restaurants print on paper placemats. A good many of them warned "Not To Be Used for Navigation." That always gave us a giggle. (We're approaching a new harbor just after sunset and coral heads dot the entrance; the captain barks, "Hand me the fricking placemat!")

The Sun should give a similar fair warning. But that would be labor intensive.

Let's not overlook yesterday's front-page giggle ...


The overline says:

Show horses staying home more,
others are forced to sell or give up their pets

The statement rides over a picture of a horse that is presumeably telling his pet that the time has come to sell her.

Plagiarism in High Places

The byline on today's story is that of the CEO of a local community Hospital. But if readers expect "Increase your child’s health and safety this summer” to be straight from the top administrator's pen, they would be wrong.

It appears the administrator is a plagiarist – an unintentional one, most likely – but it’s her name on a Charlotte Sun "Health and Fitness" article that appears nearly word-for-word on a copyrighted Web site called Stretcher Dot Com.

It looks like CEO Wendy Brandon -- or more likely the hospital's paid copywriter – has “borrowed” extensively from a material researched and written by a professional speaker and author named Brenda Nixon. Nixon hales from Ohio and is unlikley to read the local paper. So what's the harm in stealing three or four paragraphs from her?

For one thing, Nixon earns her living through her pen and offers her articles for reprint. The agreement -- if she is typical of most freelancers -- is she gets paid and the stories carry her by-line. So, unless the hospital has hired Brenda Nixon herself under a contract that allows the hospital to alter content, then the remarkable similarities between Nixon’s and Brandon’s versions require some explanation. The most probable one is plagiarism.

This particular plagiarism example raises the question, is it plagiarism when the copyist alters some of the wording to "make it her own?" After all, the copyist has made changes.

The answer is, yes. Plagiarism doesn't have to be an exact, unvaried, word-for-word copy. Plagiarism happens when an idea is co-opted. Plagiarism occurs when the order of ideas (story structure) is copied. Plagiarism happens when the underlying sentence structure is copied. Plagiarism is not avoided by changing a couple of words or flopping the order of one or two sentences. For example, in the case of the Nixon-Brandon pieces below, changing "plea" to "beg" and substituting "help" for "do the trick" is simply synonym swapping. Moving around a couple of phrases about how much kids like dogs not only doesn't avoid plagiarism, the ruse strongly suggests the hospital's writer was attempting to hide her/his tracks.**

Here are the details.


Don’t vacation in the ER -- By Brenda Nixon at parentpwr@juno.com

Nixon: Prevent sunburn by using an SPF 15 or greater sunscreen, even on cloudy days. Keep in mind that the sun's rays are strongest between 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. If you're venturing outdoors with a newborn (0-6 weeks), do not use sunscreen on their delicate skin. Rather, protect them from direct sunlight with a bonnet or cap, sunglasses, and lightweight cotton clothing. An umbrella can do the trick too. I've been to infinite softball games where resourceful parents positioned their newborn under a shade tree while enjoying the game.

CEO Brandon: Be sun smart. The sun’s rays are strongest between 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. Practice safe sun fun. Use at least an SPF 15 sunscreen, even on cloudy days, and reapply every two hours. Don’t use sunscreen on newborns. Instead, protect them from the sun with a bonnet, sunglasses and lightweight cotton clothing. An umbrella can also help by creating shade.

Nixon: Before I let my children even play in the sand I check for sticks, glass, broken toys or droppings from friendly creatures.

Brandon: Check in and around sandboxes for sticks, glass or droppings from friendly creatures.

Nixon: When loading everyone in the car, feel car seats and buckles first to know how hot they are. The sun can heat a car's interior to a scorching 140 degrees and that's enough to burn tender skin. Many parents store beach towels in the car to throw over hot seats.

CEO Brandon: Keep in mind that your car can be a source of injury from the sun as well. Summer sun can heat your car’s interior to 140 degrees. That’s enough to blister young skin. Feel seats and buckles before loading kids in the car. You may also consider carrying beach towels in the car to make a layer between a child’s legs and the sizzling seat.

The next two comparisons are especially interesting; the copied version happed to be word for word with no attempt to swap synonyms but even more telling, it reproduces the error of using "breath" instead of "breathe."

Nixon: Always be on guard when your child is around contained water sources. Toddlers are so top-heavy they easily fall head-first into pools, fountains, and buckets. When they can't maneuver their head out to breath, even an inch of water can be deadly - within five minutes.

CEO Brandon: Always be on guard when your child is around contained water sources – buckets of water, toilets, pools and ponds. Toddlers are top-heavy so they easily fall headfirst into pools, fountains and buckets. If they can't maneuver their head out to breath, even an inch of water can be deadly – within five minutes.

Nixon: Most children eventually plead, "Can I have sparklers?" And many adults add these to their arsenal of summer fireworks thinking, "What's the harm?" The harm is, these little sticks of colored sparks heat to 1,800 degrees, melt nylon clothing (I know from experience) and cause severe burns. More than 5,000 children under 14 are injured every year by fireworks. Prevent regrets by enjoying professionally-run fireworks displays and forego shooting them off at home, where most accidents happen.

CEO Brandon: Most children eventually beg, “Can we have sparklers?” And many adults buy them thinking there’s no harm. However, these thin sticks of highlighted sparks burn at 1,800 degrees, melt nylon clothing and can cause severe skin wounds and start fires. Pyrotechnics, including sparklers, injure over 5,000 young children every year. Enjoy professionally run fireworks and say “no” to shooting them off at home, where most accidents happen.

Nixon: Dogs are kid-magnets. When we walk in the park with our miniature dachshund children run to bravely pet him. Usually I will stop the tot with, "Ask if you can pet the dog." Be cautious around all animals. Teach your youngster to always ask before touching a dog. Every year children suffer injury from dogs that "look cute."

CEO Brandon: Dogs are kid magnets. Every year children suffer bites from dogs that “look cute.” Teach your tot to ask permission to touch someone’s dog. Be watchful around animals and never assume they won’t bite.

**All these ways to plagiarize are noted in Florida's Sunshine State Standards, the state's high school curriculum requirements. In the same lessons, students starting in the 10th grade are taught to cite their sources, using both formal and informal methods. The lessons are repeated in the 11th and 12th grades. For those students who go on to college, the same concepts are reiterated in Freshman Compostion I & II classes all over the nation.

Thus, people who offer up their communications and marketing skills -- and degrees -- in order to land jobs with community hospitals are in no position to say "I didn't know." They have known since the 10th grade that stealing the ideas and words of others is wrong -- and easily avoidable.

Not one reader, I'll wager, would think less of the article, the hospital, its staff or services if the material (a) had been presented by the original writer as a fair example of her by-lined work or (b) had used appropriate attributions in the text. Readers might even have thought better of the hospital if its paid writers had done some research and used their own skills at wording and paraphrasing to present an originally written piece.

Not Honored but Infantalized

She's 22-year-old woman who has graduated from a large state university and is headed to a prestigeous dental school.



Yet in the eyes of DeSoto Sun headline editors, she's a "girl." How cute. How wrong.

Plagiarising Anonymously

The DeSoto Sun this morning carries an apparently plagiarized story in the local section (page 4), headlined "Tips for handling fireworks safely." The by-line is "Staff Report." The story is a word-for-word copy of a page posted by the City of North Port on its copyrighted Web site, City of North Port (Fla.) Dot Com. The DeSoto Sun's Staff Reporter has not acknowledged the story's source, the circumstances of its reprinting, and does not feel the urge to share with readers whether permission (perhaps?) was given to publish the municipal writer's research, words, and ideas.

A core tenet of journalism: Honest, ethical reporters tell readers where they got their information. In all but the rarest of circumstances, they accurately identify sources.

Can someone plagiarize anonymously? Sure. Readers just don't know who, precisely, the plagiarist is. For lack of a by-line in this case, readers must credit the publisher and perhaps his section editors with this particularly noxious form of reader deception.

And ...

Regular readers might notice most of this blog has been taken down. The reason is Anonymous sent Old Word Wolf a note claiming that a Sun staffer who regularly appears in these posts is a handicapped person with a physical disability. Anonymous said in vividly unflattering language that OWW has been picking on a disabled person.

While OWW has never met with or spoken to the person in question, and thus had no knowledge of the person's situation, she is certainly very sorry for appearing to have picked on someone who cannot help it, as Anonymous put it.

Now, OWW does not buy Anonymous's implicit argument that a physical disability justifies poor reporting habits and bad journalism practices but decided to not bring the matter up any more. And, in fairness, OWW could not give a free pass to poor reporting by one while appearing to expect better from others.

All this was going to remain unspoken -- and then Lucy, the plagiarism sniffing dog, began barking at the paper, again.

New Florida Report Page: Triumph of Bad Design

The page designers stayed late last night. Page 6 in the main section this morning carries the banner “Florida Report,” and the page chock-a-block with news briefs. The design is dominated by an outline map of Florida crisscrossed with oddly angled lines tipped with arrows to “link” a news brief to a city on the map.

Now, newspaper readers are quite familiar, after all these years, with the convention of using a story’s “dateline” as a place reference. And maps of Florida are easy to come by. There are the folded versions in the SUV’s glove box and the colorful ones in our children’s textbooks lying on the hall table. From the household’s almanac or atlas to the Internet, Florida and its cities are not mysteries.

So why does the state map occupy the largest, most eye-catching place on the page? How exactly does a block of news become more informative if an arrow directs the reader's eye to a dot labeled Jacksonville? What readers like are those helpful thumbnail maps that savvy editors insert into specific stories to clarify a highway extension project or the sale of a 4,300-acre ranch somewhere up the road. But a one-third-page huge map of the whole state? You gotta be kidding. You could have given us three more fresh news briefs instead.

The story arrows themselves create a mish-mosh of random angles that bisect the state at distracting angles. The information is about as orderly as a pile of Pick Up Stix.

Strangely, some stores don’t qualify for an arrow at all. Merritt Island isn’t on the map and so the stingray-stabs-man story doesn’t rate an arrow. This implies Sun editor-designers won’t bother to add a dot on the prefabricated map, even when there's news from the place. How helpful is that?

On the other hand, Tampa is on the map, but the Tampa story doesn’t get a line and an arrow. With today’s graphic, that would make a line to cross a line (a designer’s no-no). So, all the help the other lines might be providing isn’t going to be used with the Tampa story. Design trumps.

The page looks nice if we hang it on a bulletin board and step back about five feet – in other words, it’s an adequate school project. But does it serve the reader? Not by a long shot. In fact, it insults readers because it says (a) they don’t know where Naples is and (b) they need an arrow on the map to find it.

Dear Publisher: Yes, readers like attractive, inviting pages. But the Sun has looked so awful for so long that we've gotten used to it. Really. Remember when they used to call the New York Times "the gray lady?" Design is nice but news is better.

Find us good reporters and clear writers. Send them out to cover city hall, the sheriff's departments; ask them to visit our schools. Teach them how to read budgets, cultivate sources, and cross ethinic lines to reach people in our community who aren't pink and didn't go to college. On the human-interest side, let your reporters know readers want more than another "disease of the week" story that ends with a plea for money.

Let your reporters know readers want to know about the men and women who populate the numerous boards and quasi-governmental committees -- before we get all that interesting stuff in an obituary.

If you want to put all this on a pretty page with a big map, fine. But don't confuse design with substance.

Another "Who Cares?" Column

DeSoto County residents, taxpayers and newspaper subscribers can all live better today because their local news editor “survived” her “first high school reunion.”

Readers and residents concerned about the effectiveness of the county commission under its new administrator read not about the schools, local economy, assessments, taxes, or crumbling county roads and weedy drainage ditches, but about the editor’s pre-party pimple eruption – “a zit” that in the alleged words of the editor’s quoted-but-unnamed best friend, appeared “just like high school.” And, lest readers think geography might provide the local connection – perhaps a high school somewhere in the paper’s circulation area – the unnamed reunion assembled in St. Petersburg.

DeSoto County residents, taxpayers and newspaper subscribers learn the editor found everyone at the reunion “so much nicer than expected,” and she had “unexpectedly deep conversations with unexpected people.” (Old Word Wolf asks who, exactly, was “unexpected” at the reunion – Michelle Obama?)

The reunion taught the editor “how many people actually knew of Arcadia and where it was.” (Was? Not still is?) The editor reports to residents, taxpayers and her subscribers that her “best conversations” at the reunion happened with the dates and spouses of former classmates except “the aloof, beautiful girl from the Ukraine who met her date online and made no attempt to conceal her boredom.” (The “girl” is unnamed and unattributed, exemplifying local journalism standards. The “girl” is old enough to go as a date to a 10-year class reunion but not old enough to be classified as a woman. )

There’s 20 inches more. But in the end, residents, taxpayers and newspaper subscribers all are better citizens because they know the editor’s high school chums all “have so much better taste in hairstyles and clothing now.”

Dear Sun Publisher: Could we get a columnist/editor out here who is willing to interview someone besides herself and her best friend? Your readers and subscribers want thoughtful opinions posed by well-informed reporters and editors who care about local government, schools, and the quality of life for folks who aren’t necessarily all white, middle-class “girls” enjoying a “dream job” that includes a hospital plan and air conditioning.

Geography Lesson

A letter to the editor this morning complains about a stand taken by “Rep. Harrell” regarding abortion and property rights. None of Charlotte Sun’s wide-awake, reader-oriented editors bothered to insert the representative's party affiliation, district and first name -- those would be Republican, District 81, and Gayle B.

The same wide-awake, reader-oriented editors didn’t notice the letter comes from a man mad as a horse with a burr under his tail – in Stuart.

The same wide-awake, reader-oriented editors ignored the geographic relationship between their employer’s newspaper-circulation area and Ms. Harrell’s district – about 200 miles and Lake Okechobee separate them.

Folks in DeSoto County (Florida House District 71) have grown accustomed to reading letters sounding off about news in Charlotte, North Port, Englewood, Venice, and even Sarasota, that energize readers in other Dunn-Rankin zones but which didn't run in the happy-news-only edition. But trying to pawn off Stuart news, even out here, is a bit much.


Thanks to My Florida dot gov for the educational use of its map.

Plagiarism: Bad in Class, OK at the Office?

A "community relations" assistant at South Florida Community College lifted substantial copy directly from a performer's agency Web site without attribution. The college assistant inserted two, word-for-word paragraphs into the story that carries her own by-line. The by-line tells readers "I wrote this story."

In addition to the copy-and-paste job, the college staffer also paraphrases the actor's agency information from the Web site. All the writing classes at SFCC teach that paraphrasing also requires attribution. Journalism classes teach that paraphrasing requires attribution. Ethical writing and basic courtesy ask for attribution.

All SFCC students are taught to cite their sources; it’s a key part of the institution’s freshman composition course practices. Most instructors describe it in detail in their syllabuses under the heading of “cheating.” And cheating it is. Too bad this student, now turned "professional," seems unable to translate a classroom practice to the real world.

Here are the "F" in-the-course/firing offenses:

Vera Hanford: Eddie Money has been making music and delivering it to his fans since the mid-1970s, and wouldn’t have it any other way. With hits like “Take Me Home Tonight,” “Two Tickets To Paradise,” “Baby Hold On,” “Walk On Water,” “Think I’m In Love,” “I Wanna Go Back” and “Shakin,” he continues to be one of the hardest-working men in rock and roll.

Richard DeLa Font Agency:This straight up rock and roll icon has been making music and delivering it to his fans since the mid 70’s, and wouldn’t have it any other way. With hits like “Two Tickets To Paradise,” “Baby Hold On,” “Walk On Water,” “Think I’m In Love,” and “Shakin,” Eddie continues to be one of the hardest-working men in rock and roll.

Vera Hanford: A student of legendary vocal coach Judy Davis and prodigy of manager Bill Graham, Money began belting out hit after hit. The early days of MTV and music videos launched Eddie Money into stardom. An accomplished musician, he sings, writes, and plays the saxophone, harmonica and piano.

Richard DeLa Font Agency: A student of legendary vocal coach Judy Davis and prodigy of manager Bill Graham, Eddie Money began belting out hit after hit. The early days of MTV and music videos launched Eddie Money into stardom. An accomplished musician, he signs, he writes, and plays the saxophone, harmonica and piano.

Old Word Wolf had a brief discussion last year with the head of the college's public relations office about similar uses of sources without attribution or credit. That department head's response was that "everyone" does it; in the concert-promotion business, she said, it's standard operating procedure and thus OK.

No it's not.

Writing Without Editors

“In place of the Morse code question, the radio operators written test will have more technical questions in place of the Morse Code. The written test has become more difficult.” – John Lawhorne

“She was born March 13, 1922 in Arlington, Va., [... she] was a 1914 graduate from Washington-Lee High school.” – Sugrue obituary

“Risk factors for community-acquired CA-MRSA include those of a young age as children’s immune systems are not fully developed or they do not yet have antibodies to common germs. CA-MRSA has crept into both amateur and professional sports teams as the bacteria spread easily through cuts, abrasions and skin-to-skin contact. Living in crowded or unsanitary conditions attribute to the risk factor as outbreaks of CA-MRSA have occurred in military training camps and in prisons.” – Jana Lynn Filip

“...a 1,400 square foot home uses zero electricity. The solar panels handle all electric costs.” – Lang Capasso



The 100-Book Challenge has nothing to do with reading 100 books.

The mis-named event encourages children to read and chart "100 steps" over the summer. The program defines a step as a 15-minute reading session.

Of course, it requires an editor who cares and who has the will and time to actually read the story and understand it before he/she sets out to write the promotional banner on the local front.

Some Write; Others Type

More evidence DeSoto Sun's publishers regard the "news hole" as merely an annoying vacuum needing to be filled at the least cost and effort surfaced Friday with another golly-gee-whiz column by an office manager (not a writer, not a reporter).

"Wow how different our lifestyles are today!"

Different than ... ?

"Have you noticed how sparse phone booths are?"

Yup; their absence is duly noted. But sparse?

"With the population of mankind growing larger every day and businesses and sidewalks fuller by the hour, you'd think more people would be bumping into each other more often."

Positively Malthusian. But in Arcadia? Maybe the reference is larger waistlines.

"I think people are evolving new senses that allow them to communicate while navigating by each other. They're oblivious to those around us, yet scoring mental points by staying free of bottlenecking and literally bumping into one another."

And those new senses are? Bottlenecking -- is that something like spin the bottle?

"...as you walk down the sidewalk looking out into the streets, you can see massive stopping and going, some fast and others faster!"

I give up; it only gets worse.

No One Knows Their Names

There are lots of things readers cannot learn by reading their DeSoto Suns. This morning's example of not serving the reader is John Lawhorne's Big Story.

Read the story and then answer the quiz question: Name any one of 19 candidates who submitted petitions or announced intentions to run for local office.

Qualifying week for candidates begins Monday

By JOHN LAWHORNE
STAFF WRITER DESOTO COUNTY —

DeSoto County’s election season gets into high gear next week as candidates officially qualify for office.

There are 11 local offices in DeSoto County to be filled by the 2008 election: three County Commission seats; two School Board seats; five constitutional offices — clerk of the circuit court, property appraiser, tax collector, supervisor of elections and sheriff; and superintendent of schools.

Qualifying week begins Monday at noon and ends at noon on Friday. More than a dozen DeSoto County candidates — incumbents and challengers — have already “announced” for local offices, but none has yet qualified.

No one can officially qualify until qualifying week.

Candidates can qualify by petition or by paying a qualifying fee. The deadline for qualifying by petition ended May 19, the last date to submit petitions for verification of signatures.

According to the Supervisor of Elections office, 19 political hopefuls have made the deadline for qualifying by petition.

Announced candidates began their campaigns early in January by filing two forms — a notice of candidacy and the designation of a bank to be the candidate’s campaign depository — with the Supervisor of elections.

Anyone qualifying next week will have to pay a qualifying fee equivalent to 6 percent (4 percent for School Board or nonpartisan candidates) of the annual salary of the office sought.

The next election involving local candidates is the primary election on Aug. 26. The general election will take place Nov. 4.

Of course readers can't name any candidate. John Lawhorne didn't bother to research or report this information. The Supervisor of Elections' phone must have been busy; four blocks was too far to drive (or walk) from the newspaper's air conditoned office. And of course, he had all those ready made sentences about deadlines, procedures and petitions that he used in the same story last month.

"Elect Me" signs are sprouting on lawns and fences all over the county, but it appears citizens wishing to make an informed vote must make a personal visit to the supervisor's office to get a list of partisans and nonpartisans. The citizens must telephone each candidate separately to get his platform. In fact, this is exactly what Old Word Wolf did the first year (2004) she moved to DeSoto County. As a result, three of the hopefuls on three separate occasions showed up on her doorstep, unannounced -- catching her in the shower every time -- to sell themselves. She voted for none of them.

Please Disable His Send Key

Telling half the news
Here’s today’s leading business brief: “Linda Visser has been working at Edward Jones at 501 S. Indiana Ave. for more than six years. Financial Planner Ted Kern was pretty proud of that. He was also very proud that Edward Jones was ranked “highest in investor satisfaction for three years in a row.”

First sentence: So Visser has been working at the office more than six years. Would that be seven years, 12 years, 20? Second sentence: Why, pray tell, does such longevity make Kern proud? Is six years some sort of record on Indiana Avenue? Third sentence: Who ranked the firm? Did the ranker measure local, state, national or global satisfaction? Share how the data was collected(can employees' moms vote?). Do the quote marks mean someone said this? If so, who? And let’s talk about that headline: What in the item justifies saying readers should visit Visser for financial planning? For all the "reporter" reports, she could be the cleaning lady.

Really?
Country Hound Café has “really gotten involved ...,” a realtor says the “European market is really going strong ...,” an upholsterer reports “business on Boca Grande has really been good ...,” and a karaoke bar manager says “events are really working out well.” All in the space of ten inches. Really.

Ouch
The columnist also reports one of his friends says real estate closings and inquiries “are definitely on an upswing spike.”

Why aren't copy editors reading this guy’s work? He’s not a reporter and clearly is not being coached. His day job is general manager of the Englewood office, where he probably has the keys to the thermostat box. But evidently he also has access to a keyboard with a “send” key.

More copy desk observations:
All Sun editions this morning ran as page 7's top national brief: "Mom finds snake in crib." The snake was a 12-inch, non-venomous, common king snake that was safey removed and turned over to animal officials in Brentwood, N.Y.

What Sun readers didn't learn is a tornado wiped out a Boy Scout camp in Iowa, killing several of them; and while "Florida tomatoes" have been cleared in a multi-state salmonella outbreak, growers in two counties (Collier and Dade) have not been cleared. Either story would have been of more interest to local readers than the copy desk kid's choice.

As for the second national brief, the headline the kids composed is:

"Crack down on unpasteurized milk"

One of several ways this is wrong was topic No. 1 in class yesterday: headsup: the blog: Hed ambiguity: Real and realerer. The saddest part is the compound is properly closed in the text; all the kids had to do was copy it.

Stoopid Hed

The headline says "Wonder Woman finds body on river." No. The copy editor is being pretty silly with this one. The actress who played that character, among other roles, did the finding. If Dustin Hoffman had been the finder, would the editor have chracterized the story as "Tootsie Finds body on river"? I doubt it. Journalism rule No. 38: Don't be cute.

We Didn't Read it in the DeSoto Sun

The Peace River Water Authority is nearing completion -- a year ahead of schedule -- of a 6-billion-gallon reservoir over on the west side of Kings Highway. This monumental effort will increase regional water-holding capacity from about a month's supply to a year's supply.

How do DeSoto County residents know this? They didn't find it in the pages of the DeSoto Sun. The Herald's story is written by an inquisitive reporter who asked questions, visited the site, talked to people and looked into the who, what, when, where, and why from every reasonable angle. For the "where" part, a photographer got some great photographs of the massive project. The reporter's fruitful background search turned up enough relevant factoids to make a substantial sidebar.

Over at the DeSoto Sun, three reporters were tucked comfortably in their air-conditioned offices rewriting press releases from the cops and trying to make eight photographs from the middle school "graduation" fill two wide-open pages. Oh yes, they also poured the crop weather report supplied word-for-word from the state ag department. Busy day.