More evidence DeSoto Sun's publishers regard the "news hole" as merely an annoying vacuum needing to be filled at the least cost and effort surfaced Friday with another golly-gee-whiz column by an office manager (not a writer, not a reporter).
"Wow how different our lifestyles are today!"
Different than ... ?
"Have you noticed how sparse phone booths are?"
Yup; their absence is duly noted. But sparse?
"With the population of mankind growing larger every day and businesses and sidewalks fuller by the hour, you'd think more people would be bumping into each other more often."
Positively Malthusian. But in Arcadia? Maybe the reference is larger waistlines.
"I think people are evolving new senses that allow them to communicate while navigating by each other. They're oblivious to those around us, yet scoring mental points by staying free of bottlenecking and literally bumping into one another."
And those new senses are? Bottlenecking -- is that something like spin the bottle?
"...as you walk down the sidewalk looking out into the streets, you can see massive stopping and going, some fast and others faster!"
I give up; it only gets worse.