Let Readers Draw Their Own Unwarranted Conclusions

This morning's front page, 7-inch filler, lower right, tells Old Word Wolf that grapes are good for her heart.

That's what a second-person pronoun does. "You" means the reader. And in this case that would be moi heart. Well, as the names featured on the left rail know, OWW doesn't have a heart.

Equally important is another minor detail -- that quaint idea that a headline accurately reflects the story. The article says nothing about human or Old Wolf hearts. The words -- read 'em -- are devoted solely to rat hearts, and rat hearts in a Michigan laboratory, at that.

Copy editors page designers layout artists Headline slappers, heed: Your (yes, that would be you) job is to report what the story says. It's the reader's job to draw baseless conclusions.

Before we move on, note the helpful picture of this rare fruit.

While we're on the front page, check out what's framing the mast: a color photo of Sandra Bullock from head to boob, a red-letter, three-line teaser about her marito-parental status, a refer to page 10. This would be fine if you -- yes, that would be you, Sun Group -- were our very own local National Inquirer or Variety, or even People Magazine, from where this who-cares-leave-the-movie-star-alone item has been lifted. Silly silly us. We thought we were reading a southwest Florida regional newspaper.

Grammar Bits, the Sequel

Below is a post about an article written by a schools-beat reporter who can't get subjects and verbs to agree. On Sunday, we read the same error, same newspaper, different writer, twice in one column. This time it's the publisher Himself. He's writing about effective teachers.

Tongue firmly in cheek, Himself opines that pols get "much smarter" when they head off to Tallahassee, "...their knowledge and brain power dwarfs that of the local school board..."

Grammar bit: plural and compound subjects require a plural verb.

Later, in the same column, " ... teacher pay and tenure is largely a matter of advanced courses .. and years of service."

Grammar bit: plural and compound subjects require a plural verb.

On the other side of the coin, singular nouns pair up with singular pronouns, a grammar bit that this morning's editorial writer ignores: "... local government is busy launching their own projects."

And what's with the hyper possessive from the same editorial writer? The Venice city manger reports an "expansion of its Knights's Trail Business Park ..."


More Below ... Maybe Not


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Today's Grammar Bit

When a sentence's subject is two things, its verb is plural. A reporter who writes about middle-school literacy should learn this. After all, your newspaper doesn't employ copy editors anymore and it is the story's first sentence.

"Literacy and the joy of recreational reading was a focus at Port Charlotte Middle School ... " **Were