Mike Billington, nominal publisher of one of Sun Media Group's regional editions, contributes another 800 words to a genre inspired by what a writer sees each morning in the shaving mirror. The genre is particularly beloved among journalists slouching toward retirement and wouldn't be worth mentioning except that Billington's navel gazing upstages a genuine, if minor, event.
Billington launches his 20-inch contribution to the news hole by announcing the title of his not-yet-written autobiography.* He lists states he has lived in, tallies houses and apartments he has occupied, details reasons and motives for moves made, and classifies abodes as rented or owned.
It's only at the end of the second leg of type that a persistent reader encounters the news. A nice real estate lady is having an open-house tour next weekend. OWW wonders if the organizer is as enamored as Billington is with his extensive change-of-address history. Her message is interred under the sod of this self-proclaimed gypsy's nostalgia.
*A Google search of "No Fixed Address" takes 0.09 seconds to return 133,000 prior usages of his inspired title.